Election Special – A Sheep’s Perspective (Retrospectively)

So – election time again and we’ve got a few things to say. If sheep could vote (which they still can’t despite years of campaigning for eweniversal suffrage) things could really change.

For a start, we need more wooly thinking: It’s time we saw a fair price for our hard-grown locks. We’ve been fleeced by successive governments and there is no sign of a change. We demand action to fight off competition from unsustainable, oil-based products and put wool back on all our backs.

Next; Universal tagging for all species. We enjoy full traceability by being individually tagged from birth and even have our own unique QR code, so you know exactly where we have been. Even dogs have microchips these days, so time you humans caught up.
Sorting out the Nation’s food. We only eat grass and hay off the farm; we know exactly where it comes from and what goes into it. So should everyone, so eat Pasture-Fed for a better life.
Saving the NHS. We are fully organic, so would only ever see an antibiotic or chemical medicine if it was a matter of life or death. Too many sheep (and people) get fed antibiotics like smarties; no wonder they don’t work anymore.
Finally, the environment. We pasture-fed sheep have much lower emissions than most and our farms have a tiny carbon footprint. So to be green, vote pasture-fed.